Things I Miss Right Now

(Not people--those there are too many to list.)

• Playing piano (somehow I never . . .)
• Reading Wittgenstein (which is strange, because I've never read him, yet I miss it as though I have.)
• Painting in a studio, early weekend mornings, all alone in big sunlit stained rooms.
• Running outside while there's air and sunlight (been too rainy lately, though I love the rain.)
• The emotion of everyday events; every day being different and poignant, not blending one into the next in a kind of mild usualness, with no dramatics nor joys.
  
• Walking across campus.
• Pre-bundled sets of readings, media, questions, and points to be made (otherwise known as courses).
• Usually being by a window.
• Snow.
• Reading Hebrew.
• Deadlines, assignments, always having too much to do and most of it in discreet, check-box friendly form.
• Forward momentum.
• Afternoons spent making immense pots of soup or 12 trays of bread pudding for Master's.
  
• Being surrounded, constantly, by interesting if slightly crazy people, all active and intense and living alongside me.
  
• DivSchool hot cocoa with amaretto or hazelnut syrup.
• The walk to the piano room around midnight.
• Trains.
• Wearing coats unironically.
• Friends, near by, not just catching up but actually living alongside one another, making food for each other, going out, snuggling.
• Intellectualism not looked at as frightening or too intense; discussions of prisons and Foucault late at night and discussions of the Good and Plato and nuclear physics in the stairwells.
  
• Stairs. There don't seem to be stairs in California.
  
• Adventures.
• The roof with the observatory.
• Thought that could be let out, to others, in discussion or papers, molded and prodded and pushed into beauty, and not just cycling in my head stagnating, going nowhere.
• Every day having eight beautiful things within it, a warm drink while it was raining, a great interaction, a brilliant reading, a sparkling class, a great hug, flowers, falling leaves, etc.
• Light.