Things I Miss Right Now

(Not people--those there are too many to list.)

  • Playing piano (somehow I never . . .)
  • Reading Wittgenstein (which is strange, because I've never read him, yet I miss it as though I have.)
  • Painting in a studio, early weekend mornings, all alone in big sunlit stained rooms.
  • Running outside while there's air and sunlight (been too rainy lately, though I love the rain.)
  • The emotion of everyday events; every day being different and poignant, not blending one into the next in a kind of mild usualness, with no dramatics nor joys.
  • Walking across campus.
  • Pre-bundled sets of readings, media, questions, and points to be made (otherwise known as courses).
  • Usually being by a window.
  • Snow.
  • Reading Hebrew.
  • Deadlines, assignments, always having too much to do and most of it in discreet, check-box friendly form.
  • Forward momentum.
  • Afternoons spent making immense pots of soup or 12 trays of bread pudding for Master's.
  • Being surrounded, constantly, by interesting if slightly crazy people, all active and intense and living alongside me.
  • DivSchool hot cocoa with amaretto or hazelnut syrup.
  • The walk to the piano room around midnight.
  • Trains.
  • Wearing coats unironically.
  • Friends, near by, not just catching up but actually living alongside one another, making food for each other, going out, snuggling.
  • Intellectualism not looked at as frightening or too intense; discussions of prisons and Foucault late at night and discussions of the Good and Plato and nuclear physics in the stairwells.
  • Stairs. There don't seem to be stairs in California.
  • Adventures.
  • The roof with the observatory.
  • Thought that could be let out, to others, in discussion or papers, molded and prodded and pushed into beauty, and not just cycling in my head stagnating, going nowhere.
  • Every day having eight beautiful things within it, a warm drink while it was raining, a great interaction, a brilliant reading, a sparkling class, a great hug, flowers, falling leaves, etc.
  • Light.


  1. Let's go back to Hogwarts-- er, I mean...Chicago.

    Also, to a time when our purpose (and everyone else's) was, very obviously, understood to be learning (all the time).

  2. California has stairs. I understand there's a book or a tour guide or some way to get led on a walking tour of the stairways of SF.


  3. Why do you know pretty much all cool things, Doug?